We must be delivered from past hurt and pain before we are truly receptive to the mate God wants to place in our lives. God wants our hearts, and you can trust that he handles it with care.
So let me give a little of my testimony so you can see how far God can bring you:
I was always looking for a man to complete me. A man to take me in his arms and say he loved me and refused to ever let me go. I thought a relationship was this "Magical thing" that would alleviate all the hurt and pain I had experienced and make me whole. As a result of this pattern of thought I settled for any guy who showed me attention, and invested myself sexually. Well sex was never intended for just anyone. Sex is a physical expression of love, and is only meant to be exercised via marriage. When you have sex with a person you create spiritual oneness with that person, which is the reason it is meant for a union made by God. Without a Godly unity sex has the ability to cloud a persons judgement, allowing premature emotions to arise.
So as you can imagine I fell prematurely in love with guys who were not God's best for me. I jumped from guy to guy to guy, and in the end found myself with a 3 year old daughter and 4 months pregnant with another. I was at my lowest point having been left by my "true love." I found out the person I had given my heart and linked my spirit with was only playing me. I was the other woman, and had not been asked permission to take up such a demeaning title! He stood in front of me and his girlfriend and denounced me and my growing seed. My world was broken or so I thought. I cried, and cried, and cried out to God asking him why he would allow me to experience such pain and loneliness.
In my hurt and despair I made the decision....NEVER AGAIN!! I had been saved years prior, but backslid in a major way. I had come to the point where it was all God or nothing at all. I was not capable of being solely responsible for decision concerning my life and heart. My decisions were the reasons for my being is such a low position. I had to swallow that and ask God to take the lead. I made the decision to establish a relationship with God, to allow him to heal my heart, and show me what real love was. I gave my heart to God.
See the relationship I had been looking for in men could only be found in Christ. My concept of a real relationship was correct the only issue was my focus was off. God's love is more then "magical" its eternal. With all the mistakes I had made, and the sins I committed against my body, God still loves and accepts me. Man's love is conditional, and is subject to emotions. Man can say he loves you on one day then denounce your existence in their life the next day.
BUT God's love.....
I Corinthians 13:4-5 says "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil." God's love suffers long because when I was yet in my sins God didn't give up on me as so many guys had done in the past. God's love was what I had been looking for all along. A love that says "I love you and I refuse to ever let you go." Not a "magical" thing, but a "perfect" thing that will alleviate all the hurt and pain. God's love is so precise that it has the power to make us WHOLE.
The abundance of God's love will take all manners of pain, and make them only a memory. God's love took my old heart that no longer beat and transplanted a new one in its place. I no longer feel pain when I think about my past. I count it as a blessing to have been through circumstances that placed me directly in the bosom of God.
When you feel God's love, and see it working in your life you can't do anything but praise him. If your single let the love of Christ be what you strive for in a relationship. Develop your relationship with God, and he will show you the way you deserve to love and who you are in him. Wrap yourself up so much in God's love and allow him to be your partner until he blesses you with his good and perfect companion. Receive God's healing and direction so that your new in him. Allow God to minister to your heart, and strengthen you in relationship areas you are weak.
I'm no longer plagued with my past hurt, pain, and guilt. I'm free and I attribute that whole heartily to Christ. Remember I John 4:19, "We love him, because he first loved us."
God Bless You All,
Kiva Thompkins
Remember to follow me on Twitter @ksweet84
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